Why is there never any sunshine on Leith Links?
Week two takes the Goats to Leith Links, facing the club formerly know as Leith Franklin Academical Beige, who now seem to go by Leith according to all official leagues and fixtures, were confusingly not in beige, and were wearing a similar set of coloured kits to HCC. A debate then ensued about kit clashes, our alternate kit now being whites, and why beige wasn’t the default. After several poor Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam impressions, we then remembered the one season Cardiff Blues played in red, and decided to get on with our day no longer worrying about any clothing colours, just the colour of the increasingly grey skies.
A rare won toss for HCC saw the choice to bowl first on a green pitch, paired with an outfield that had notes of abandoned quarry, links golf course rough, and Arthurs Seat. A noteworthy addition to proceedings would be the wide lines, but wide is not an apt description as they were championship prescribed for a division three clash.
The wide lines were no real issue for Syme and Kumar, the first seven overs tidily executed, with a solid catch at gully for Arbuthnott, having the hosts sat at 7-1. This unfortunately had to come to an end, as all good things must eventually do, with some aggressive shots flying to the short allotment boundary. Perriam entered the attack with a steady start before suffering a similar fate. Syme carried on for eight straight and a tidy 1-10 off those, a low economy on a variable pitch.
Another HCC debutant this season is Rahimi, who joined in the bowling attack in the 12th, bowling four overs and taking a wicket as well as a catch on his debut for the Goats.
Unfortunately the batters decided to kick on at this point, going from 20 runs after 12 to 65 after 20. The second 20 proving an expensive period for the Tynesiders, as even with wickets for Hancox, Arbuthnott, and a wicket maiden for Cruickshank, the batters amassed 204 off their allotted overs, eight dropped catches making the inning more expensive than it should have been. Going unmentioned but putting in a remarkable shift was Carey (not Alex) with the gloves. A last minute addition to the XI and not having touched a bat, ball, or gloves this year adding to a remarkable performance behind the stumps, taking a catch and keeping byes lower than they would have been given a pitch more unpredicatable than markets after Trump’s tantrum tariffs.
Tea, initially not provided then remarkably provided, ensued. A shuffle of the batting order, a tweak of the ankles, and a visit from some club supporters concluded the break. Tea ladies marked absent for various reasons.
Carey and Logan to start this one, a change from your usual scheduled programming. A quiet first over led to an unbelievable second. The wide lines coming back with a vengeance after the Goats fed them a meagre 11 runs, took five runs off the first five attempted deliveries. Almost like they are championship lines for a reason. Logan, confused by how an opening bowler can chuck two wide down leg, one wide down off, and had no idea whether the next ball would turn into the Nauticus for a pint or up Leith walk to The Boundary, decided instead to hoop in to the top of off stump and send him walking.
This was soon to be the theme of the day, a side undone by the bounce, more inclined to leave their way to 28 wides, and be bored into submission by the march of time than to attempt to play shots in anger - despite the ever present frustration.
How long are 40 overs of cricket meant to take? How long do they actually take? And how much time can be shaved off by not using standards prescribed above the ability level? Does that not defeat the point of making cricket fun, engaging, entertaining for spectators, or enjoyable at all to be involved in? It is commonly known that the higher a standard you play at, the less congenial it gets as the will and want to win become increasingly more important than the want to have fun or to merely enjoy a day away from work, outdoors and with people they get on well with. ESCA Division 3 is not even the third highest level you can play at in the East of Scotland, it’s the fifth. We know our place.
Rant over - the Goats were skittled for 78. We all went home safe, alive, bewildered, and exhausted.
POTM -Syme for the bowling and not for the Conclave chat
