New tubs

A return to Neilson Park in week three - but not to the same building. From the old pavilion we have travelled the length of the park to the HRFC clubhouse, a partnership with our neighbours being more advantageous for both clubs. The first home game also brought the first appearance of a Tea Lady, always a welcome sight at home or on the road.

Another lost toss, but this time the Goats put out to pasture in the baking heat. A hard pitch given the lack of rain, a freshly cut outfield that ran, and un-Scottish weather giving clues of a long day for the Goats.

The Goats and home supporters did not have to wait long for a breakthrough, Syme striking in the first over, bowling Khan for 2. MacDonald from the other end as the opening pairing for another league fixture started tidily with a maiden. Syme went on to remove the over opener, Abid, adjudged LBW by the umpire for 19.

What then followed was a fierce battle between McAuliffe and Syme, the bowler creating chances and getting close to removing the set number three, but unable to do so. MacDonald later returned for a second spell of four overs and removed McAuliffe for 58, having been dropped more than once during his innings, eventually being caught at long on by Hiley. There is no such thing as a chanceless innings at this level.

MacDonald picked up his second later on, another LBW decision for the Goats. Two wickets for MacDonald, two for Syme, any more for any more? Yep, Arbuthnott and Hiley joined the party with two apiece, Arbuthnott clean bowling both Hiley bowling one and and a catch I shall talk about shortly, as I believe it deserves it’s own little piece.

Kumar, never one to be left out, played catch up in his fifth over, bowling batters nine and ten with consecutive deliveries. Unfortunately I am a novice match report writer so I have aleady given away the conclusion to this next delivery. The batter dotted up and there were to be no special celebrations for a hattrick.

The final wicket fell as batter eleven went down swinging, an edge caught behind by a rare inland salmon leaping upstream towards the pub for another pint, as he had done so many times the night before. Logan was the stand in keeper, fresh off all of two hours of training in the mitts, learning of all the back and thigh ailments that befall so many keepers. We remembered them fondly as we ranked Logan as our fourth (fifth) choice keeper for this season over tea.

Due to Logan’s stint behind the sticks, he elected not to open in order to give himself a break before having to strap pads back on again. This respite was granted in the form of a twenty over umpiring stint alongside Syme having bowled eight straight at the hottest point of the day. No rest for the wicked.

The first twenty overs went in a blur, the combination of Cruickshank and Arbuthnott, right and left handed, buff and much less buff, feeding the goats an ample supply of runs for the opening stand, a 90 run partnership with shots in all different regions and of all different styles coming thick and fast. Arbuthnott departed first for 40, Cruickshank departing after a seven run partnership with Cardwell-Moore for his own 37 run haul.

Cardwell-Moore and Hiley paired up for an 18 run stand, Cardwell-Moore departing with 13. At this point HCC are sat at 115/3 after 26. Continue at this rate and they win. I’ll give you three guesses

Things carry on as expected for a while with Hiley hitting out, adding three boundaries to the total before being cleaned up by Wafa. Logan came and went after his short rest, again judged out LBW and finding out that it is a much longer walk to the rugby club from the middle than it is to the pavilion, his favourite joke of the day until that point.

The souffle had been taken out of the HRFC oven slightly too early and decided against the towering heights of victory, opting instead to collapse in on itself to a familiar taste of scrambled pads and poached wickets. The batters came and went in a flurry with no real trouble for the scorers apart from the fall of wicket boxes which remain half filled in the book sat next to me. To cherry pick figures, a tumble from 95/0 to 158 all out is not great, but 140/3 to 158 all out is worse. A lack of batting depth costing the home side on this occasion.

The Goats left baked mentally and physically by the heat, missed chances, and in one case barbecued rather than baked, hit the showers with a defeat snatched from the jaws of victory. On the bright side, the rugby club facilities were much nicer, so it was a more pleasant grump this week than the prior grumps we have observed this season.

This match marked the start of subs being due (please pay them, the treasurer does not like chasing you) as well as the start of the team stats being counted for wickets, runs, and catches. From this point they will be a feature at the bottom of these posts.

POTM: Hiley, Arbuthnott unluck to miss out but the catch to dismiss McAuliffe edges him out here

Tea ladies: 1/3 - hoping to see more of them soon

Leading run scorer: Arbuthnott - 79 @26.33

Leading wicket taker: Syme - 6 @10.50

Most catches: Arbuthnott - 3

Why is there never any sunshine on Leith Links?

Week two takes the Goats to Leith Links, facing the club formerly know as Leith Franklin Academical Beige, who now seem to go by Leith according to all official leagues and fixtures, were confusingly not in beige, and were wearing a similar set of coloured kits to HCC. A debate then ensued about kit clashes, our alternate kit now being whites, and why beige wasn’t the default. After several poor Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam impressions, we then remembered the one season Cardiff Blues played in red, and decided to get on with our day no longer worrying about any clothing colours, just the colour of the increasingly grey skies.

A rare won toss for HCC saw the choice to bowl first on a green pitch, paired with an outfield that had notes of abandoned quarry, links golf course rough, and Arthurs Seat. A noteworthy addition to proceedings would be the wide lines, but wide is not an apt description as they were championship prescribed for a division three clash.

The wide lines were no real issue for Syme and Kumar, the first seven overs tidily executed, with a solid catch at gully for Arbuthnott, having the hosts sat at 7-1. This unfortunately had to come to an end, as all good things must eventually do, with some aggressive shots flying to the short allotment boundary. Perriam entered the attack with a steady start before suffering a similar fate. Syme carried on for eight straight and a tidy 1-10 off those, a low economy on a variable pitch.

Another HCC debutant this season is Rahimi, who joined in the bowling attack in the 12th, bowling four overs and taking a wicket as well as a catch on his debut for the Goats.

Unfortunately the batters decided to kick on at this point, going from 20 runs after 12 to 65 after 20. The second 20 proving an expensive period for the Tynesiders, as even with wickets for Hancox, Arbuthnott, and a wicket maiden for Cruickshank, the batters amassed 204 off their allotted overs, eight dropped catches making the inning more expensive than it should have been. Going unmentioned but putting in a remarkable shift was Carey (not Alex) with the gloves. A last minute addition to the XI and not having touched a bat, ball, or gloves this year adding to a remarkable performance behind the stumps, taking a catch and keeping byes lower than they would have been given a pitch more unpredicatable than markets after Trump’s tantrum tariffs.

Tea, initially not provided then remarkably provided, ensued. A shuffle of the batting order, a tweak of the ankles, and a visit from some club supporters concluded the break. Tea ladies marked absent for various reasons.

Carey and Logan to start this one, a change from your usual scheduled programming. A quiet first over led to an unbelievable second. The wide lines coming back with a vengeance after the Goats fed them a meagre 11 runs, took five runs off the first five attempted deliveries. Almost like they are championship lines for a reason. Logan, confused by how an opening bowler can chuck two wide down leg, one wide down off, and had no idea whether the next ball would turn into the Nauticus for a pint or up Leith walk to The Boundary, decided instead to hoop in to the top of off stump and send him walking.

This was soon to be the theme of the day, a side undone by the bounce, more inclined to leave their way to 28 wides, and be bored into submission by the march of time than to attempt to play shots in anger - despite the ever present frustration.

How long are 40 overs of cricket meant to take? How long do they actually take? And how much time can be shaved off by not using standards prescribed above the ability level? Does that not defeat the point of making cricket fun, engaging, entertaining for spectators, or enjoyable at all to be involved in? It is commonly known that the higher a standard you play at, the less congenial it gets as the will and want to win become increasingly more important than the want to have fun or to merely enjoy a day away from work, outdoors and with people they get on well with. ESCA Division 3 is not even the third highest level you can play at in the East of Scotland, it’s the fifth. We know our place.

Rant over - the Goats were skittled for 78. We all went home safe, alive, bewildered, and exhausted.

POTM -Syme for the bowling and not for the Conclave chat

A fresh start

April has come around once more, in the same way it does every twelve months. The final Saturday of the month marking the start of a brand new Scottish cricket season - normally the current season resembling a brisk autumnal day rather than a more traditional cricketing climate.

The goats started on the road in Edinburgh at Boroughmuir, one of the numerous fixtures within the bypass this season. Familiar faces arriving as and when expected to, as long as that expectation is based on their character rather than a set start time. Stalwart Cruickshank (the third generation one) the captain this season, following in the long tradition of HCC captains in losing the toss. The Goats put into bat on what looked a green surface, with some tricky bounce to contend with.

Cruickshank and Logan strode out together with vastly different lengths of stride, and of innings too, Logan sent back after scoring seven. The long levers of the Flymo/Sean Dyche lookalike/soon to be father of two Blades out to the middle next. Another short innings but all that comes with supporting a young family, a lack of availability to train, and an expectant wife all familiar foes to ESCA Division 3 optimal performance. I’ve heard that there are certain pubs that help improve performance….

Hiley and new dad Arbuthnott added to Cruickshank’s contributions with 33 runs each - identical scores for differing styles of play. One, a classical modern Yorkshireman, the other a man of great chest and pipes, fond of hitting the ball hard in whatever direction he deems fit to send it.

Gali joined the fray after a substantial partnership, only to unfortunately be caught lingering outside his crease by the keeper. This brought together MacDonald and Bell, both adding double digits to keep the score ticking over late in the innings and bringing up a competitive 148, an abnormally high score this early in the season. Was it all the pink ball or the new coloured kit? Much debate was had over those points at tea.

A slightly slimmer Syme was given the new ball to start the season, with the promise of rotation to keep him fresh, the batters unsettled, and an equitable distribution of bowling throughout the squad. He proceeded to bowl six overs, garnering 3-28 with two maidens, which included two impressively large sixes that he took with a smile, more impressed than dismayed at the deliveries being dispatched to different locales, as well as being “good off his own”.

MacDonald opened from the other end, as seen traditionally the last few seasons, the hope of confusing opposition by not opting for the cliché approach of two seamers. He ably removed the number two batter LBW, left arm orthodox proving an effective weapon time and again.

The eighth over saw the introduction of debutant Gali to the attack, a flurry of variations and multiple chances created which all unfortunately fell into gaps in the field. A solid effort, that could, and on other days would have yielded better returns unfortunately resulted in a wicketless spell for the new man.

The often accurate and wily Hiley was handed the ball in the 13th, collecting the wicket of in form batter Singh, forcing him to return to the (tractor) sheds for 41. Arbuthnott soon joined in the fun from the other end, his usual left arm loose much tighter than normal, cradling a newborn perhaps tightening up the shoulder for him to throw down some inswinging darts. Hiley finished his five overs with a commendable 3-18 off 5, with Buff’s tight lines and even tighter economy leading to a two wicket spell for a baby three runs.

Kumar, late as always to the party, not wanting to miss out on the wickets managed to take the last of the match, bowling the number eleven, conceding two runs off his solitary over.

After an ambitious and faster than expected chase from the home side, the goats managed to clean up the wickets for 101 runs. A near 50 run win a good start to the season, a good omen for the season? Only time will tell.

POTM: Hiley for his bowling, batting, and the fines committee being unable to find fault with the day he had

Fines were discussed, as per tradition, in an establishment that served pizza and beer, but was unfortunately not the Tyneside Tavern